Feeling Weird, Different, or Isolated
I joined Effy Wild's September Blog Along challenge and began writing here. After the first post, I learned that there is not a way for readers to leave comments and that's no good. The whole purpose of the Blog Along is so people can visit your blog and leave you love in the form of comments. So I had to move the posts for the Blog Along to our online community.
I have been writing there regularly, missing only one day of writing since I began on September 2nd (I missed the first day too). That's because on September 3rd my sister and best friend passed away. I haven't been write sense (pun intended)...
As I sat on my bed yesterday thinking about and missing my sister dearly, I realized that one of the memories I have of her is her love for my boldness and "go get 'em" attitude. If it is something I really want, I throw all caution to the wind and go for it. Felicia loved that about me. I believe in some ways she lived vicariously through me. Things like parasailing and riding on a catamaran were "wild" things she felt I did, would never do herself, but absolutely loved the fact that I embraced my fears and went for the thrill ride just the same. Just because she wouldn't do it, didn't mean that she thought those that would to be reckless.
Today's prompt from Effy's Blog Along basically asked how do I feel weird, different, or isolated. It is in those ways in which my sister loved me for that I feel these ways. I am the only non-religious sibling -- they all subscribe to some form of organized religion. Me? I subscribe to the principles of being a Spiritual Being having a human experience and surround my Self with spiritual things, leaving the religious dogma and fundamentalism behind. Different and a little isolating from the rest of my family tribe. But hey -- I gotta do me and that's what Felicia loved.
I am the only artist and author in the family. My art isn't your traditional fanfare, I've never taken a formal "how to paint/how to draw" class in my life, yet I've sold 5 paintings, many many ARTiculated journals, as well as art cards/greeting cards. I don't do art to "do art." Nor do I do art to sell art and make a living. I do art because it is healing and that is what I share and teach. The income I make from my art is a sweet blessing of abundance for the manifestations of truth that I am allowed by the Divine to bring forth. I burn sage and sweetgrass, have a painting altar setup, light candles, drum, rattle, and meditate before I lay brush to canvas or page. And sometimes this makes me feel weird -- especially when I'm teaching someone/some group for the very first time and I don't know if they'll think me "woo-woo" or not. But, feeling weird as hell, I plow through and come out on the other side with everyone thanking me for guiding them through the experience.
I could continue, but I think you get the jist...
I believe we all feel weird, different, or isolated in some manner or another. Even the most confident, well-liked people in the world I'm sure have their feelings of being different. Oftentimes for those people, it comes in the form of them being an egotistical asshole just because they've "made it", but I assure you they have these feelings too. We're not the only ones. Not just the creatives or the writers or those who suffer from depression. All human beings get that feeling of being the weirdo, the sore thumb, or the one no one wants to be around at some time or another throughout their walk on this Earth. It's just a fact of life in my opinion...
